Today we’re dissecting Ozzy’s “Dreamer,” a bland rehash of John Lennon’s “Imagine,” which somehow manages to be even cornier than the original. Add 11 year-olds in Maxim Magazine makeup, and you get this truly cringeworthy video.

I also vent the issues I have with Ozzy in general, including his Prince of Darkness moniker, his terrible ballads, and being the weakest link by default in one of my favorite bands: Black Sabbath.

Good music in this episode: the new Faith No More and Sumac's The Deal

Cahn returns to talk about witnessing the “atrocity” that was Metallica’s 1996 album, Load. We focus on the grunge-era chugger “Until It Sleeps,” the limitless GIF potential in its music video, and Cahn reveals far too much about his dad.

Is this what James meant when he said Lars and Kirk were “pretending to be gay”? Did Napster and Some Kind of Monster ruin the goodwill necessary to tolerate the stylistic choices on this album? Should Metallica be allowed to experiment with their sound? (No)

Next week: Ozzy's Dreamer

Today we're revisiting the triple-produced, lyrically incoherent, y2k teen movie staple "Right Now" by aging pop-punkers SR-71. Is the subject of this song clingy or controlling? Is the singer super cool or super pathetic? And did he ever recover from the PC Feminism of the 90's?

Also: The too-big-to-fail hair and makeup industry of the era, our favorite "Megedeath" albums, and another ridiculous HS newspaper story, but this time I'm the victim.

Good music in this episode: The Offspring's "All I Want" and Drug Church's "Bagged"

Today we’re revisiting the sex jokes, cool-guy one-liners, and the anti-psychology crusade of Dexter Holland in The Offspring’s She’s Got Issues. Zooey Deschanel has a completely different take on her character in the music video, we remember confrontations at Thrice and Mars Volta shows, and we reminisce about the issue of our high school newspaper that got Albert “311” Albanez and myself fired from the staff.